薩古魯：為什么分手如此痛苦

Question:Why Is Breaking Up So Painful?

問：為什么分手如此痛苦？

Sadhguru: You need to understand this –what you call as myself right now -is a huge volume of memory.Your body is a way it is simply because of the genetic memory that it carries.You have your mother’s nose,your father’s complexion,and something else,your grandfather’s something else,simply because what you call as your body,is a complex amalgamation of memory.A very ancient memory lives in your body.What you call as my mind is one hundred percent memory right now.So you are a huge heap of memory in many ways and memory goes into you in different ways.

Sadhguru（薩古魯）：你需要明白，此刻，你所說的“我自己”就是一個巨大的記憶體。你的身體呈現為這個樣子，僅僅是因為它所攜帶的基因記憶。你擁有母親的鼻子、父親的膚色或者其它什么，以及你祖父的其它一些特質，僅僅因為，你所說的“我的身體”就是一個復雜的記憶融合體，非常古老的記憶活在你的身體之中。你所說的“我的頭腦”，則100%是記憶。所以在很多層面上，你就是一個巨大的記憶體，記憶以不同的方式進入你。

Through all the five senses,you gather memory -what you see,what you hear,what you smell,what you taste,what you touch.Of all these five different ways of gathering memory,what you see and what you touch are the deepest forms of memory.Especially, what you touch creates a certain level of memory in the system.

通過所有的五個感官，你收集記憶——所看、所聽、所嗅、所嘗、所觸。所有五種收集記憶的方式中，你看到的和你觸摸到的是最刻骨銘心的記憶形式，尤其是你所觸摸到的會在系統中建立某種層次的記憶。

So when you say a spouse,you have touched and there is a certain level of memory.Now,your divorce means，in some way you’re trying to rip that memory off and that’s not going to be easy for various reasons.But at the same time,the very fact that you’re going through your divorce means，you want to be finished with that memory in some way.Maybe not erase that memory but someone who was a spouse,someone who was a in many ways a part of your life,slowly, for whatever reason,you have begun to experience them as a baggage that you’re unwilling to carry.So,you want to keep the baggage aside.But you find the baggage is not something that you voluntarily carry,it is something that compulsively sticks to you.So when whatever sticks to you compulsively,if you try to rip it off,there will be pain.See if you can get rid of your mother from your system.You will see it’s impossible.

所以當你談及伴侶……你們有了觸碰，就會留下某種記憶。那么，離異意味著從某種方面講，你試圖抹除那個記憶，這可不會太容易，原因有很多。然而同時，你在經歷著離異的事實就表明，在某種層面上，你想與那個記憶有個了結，也許無法完全抹掉那個記憶，但曾作為伴侶的那個人，他/她曾經在許多方面是你生命的一部分。慢慢地，不管什么原因，他們已經開始讓你感覺像是你不愿攜帶的行李，所以你想放下行李。但你發現這個行李不是你自愿背負的東西，而是某種強行粘連于你的東西。那么，當任何東西強行粘連于你時，如果你試圖撕掉它，你就會感到痛。試試看你能否從你的系統中清除掉你的母親，你會看到，那絕無可能。

So similarly,memory has built up about your spouse,you can’t just get rid of it just like that.If you do it –even mentally, psychologically,if you’re equipped to do it –you will still see the whole system will go through a certain level of suffering, invariably.Even if emotionally,psychologically, you are in a balanced state that you can deal with it,the system will go through a certain process.You will see that especially when you are taken away from your spouse either through divorce or death,you will see the memory within your system plays up much more strongly when they are not here.Particularly, when death happens,you will see the memory of your spouse works in every cell in your body,if you have lived long enough together.It is not just an emotional and psychological process,it is a very physical process.

同樣地，關于你伴侶的記憶已經建立起來，你無法就那么輕易擺脫它。如果你這么做了——即使在精神上、心理上，你可以做到——你仍會看到，你的整個系統難免還是會經歷一定程度的痛苦。即使在情感上、心理上，你很平靜，你可以面對，但是你的系統還是要經歷一定的過程。你會看到，特別是當你從伴侶的身邊被帶走時，無論是因為離異還是死亡，你會看到，當伴侶不在時，你系統內的記憶會更加洶涌地襲來。尤其是當死亡發生時，你會看到關于你伴侶的記憶，在你體內的每一個細胞里運作著，如果你們共同生活了足夠長時間。這不僅僅是情感和心理過程，它是個非常生理性的過程。

So divorce is a voluntary death.You have decided to kill something that is a part of you, in some way.It is because of this reason,that having this understanding of the existence and the way the system functions,that they always told you,”Till death do you apart,you will not part.”because there is a physical memory about this and the body doesn’t have the balance of the mind.The mind can decide and turn around,but the body cannot turn around.The more memory you build into it,the more confused it becomes.So, one type of memory,body handles it much better.

所以離異是一種自愿的死亡。從某種程度上，你決定殺死你自己的一部分。正因為如此，出于對這個存在以及系統運作方式的理解，人們總是說：“直至死亡將你們分開。”因為身體帶有生理記憶，而身體并沒有頭腦那種平衡能力。頭腦可以做決定，可以轉過身，但身體無法做到。你在身體中建立的記憶越多，它就越發困惑。所以，如果是一種類型的記憶，身體就能更好地駕馭。

Now that you’ve chosen to divorce –for whatever reasons,which I don’t want to delve into –if it could be avoided, that would be best.But for some reason,you have come to that situation where this is this has to happen -you need to understand this,that divorce essentially means you have chosen to kill something, which is a part of you,because what you call as myself is just a certain volume of memory.

現在你選擇了離異——不管出于什么原因，我不想深入探究——如果可以避免，那最好。但出于某種原因事已如此，到了它必須發生的地步。你需要明白：離婚根本上意味著你選擇殺死你的一部分，因為你所說的“我自己”只是一定量的記憶。

Now, to how to conduct this gracefully?Most people think the best way to conduct a divorce is immediately jump into another relationship and another relationship of the same kind.No,you will cause much more struggle and turmoil within the system by doing that.It’s extremely important the body has enough time to work out the memory,the body has enough time to keep the memory at a certain distance.Otherwise,you will render yourself to a space,where to make yourself peaceful and joyful will become an extremely hard thing to do in your life.So conducting this process gracefully and well is important as it is important to conduct every aspect of your life gracefully and well.

那么如何優雅地做這件事？大多數人認為處理離婚的最佳方式是立即跳入又一段關系，又一段同類的關系。不，你這么做會給系統內部帶來更多掙扎和動蕩。這一點極其重要：讓身體有足夠的時間去消耗記憶，讓身體有足夠的時間，將記憶保持在一定距離之外。否則，你將落入這樣的境地，就是要讓自己平和、喜悅將成為非常困難的事。因此，優雅地完成這個過程是很重要的，正如優雅地開展生命的每個方面都很重要。

Now,two people,who have shared their emotion,their body,their sensations and their living spaces,ripping it apart is because two memories have merged in many ways,ripping it apart is almost like tearing yourself apart.Even though you might have begun to almost come to a place,where you can’t stand the person anymore,still it hurts,simply because you’re trying to rip out a memory,which is you,because you are a bundle of memory.

現在，兩個人共同分享了情感、身體、感官和生活空間，要撕毀它——因為兩個人的記憶以多種方式交融了——撕毀它就無異于撕裂你自己。即使你可能已經達到幾乎無法再忍受這個人的地步，你還是會感到痛，僅僅因為你在試圖撕毀記憶，而這個記憶就是你，因為你就是一堆記憶。

If one does the necessary spiritual sadhana,if one does sufficient inner work to establish these energies,which is yourself.You’re only divorcing your spouse,you need not divorce yourself.But you need to understand this,you have already divorced yourself.You’re quite divorced from your own self.Your existence has been nurtured by making a bond,a partnership or a bondage depending upon how you’ve conducted this to make yourself feel whole in some way.Most partnerships of this nature are made because by yourself you would feel insufficient,incomplete.But that’s not how life is.This (Referring to oneself) is a complete life process by itself.It does not need any assistance from outside.

如果一個人做了必要的Sadhana（靈性練習），如果一個人做了足夠的內在工作去構建這些能量，也就是去構建“你自己”，那么，你只是與伴侶離異，而無需與自己離異，但你需要明白你已經與自己離異了。你與你自己已經相當脫離了。你是通過建立連結、尋找伙伴（或者束縛——取決于你如何處理）來滋養你的存在，讓自己感覺完整。你們建立這樣的伙伴關系，大多是因為獨自一人會讓你感到匱乏、不圓滿。但生命本身并非如此，這個（自己）就是一個完整的生命過程，不需要任何外界的幫助。

So now that you’ve come to such a situation,it is time to turn inward and see.It is time that you find the completeness of what this life (Referring to oneself) is. It is time you discover that this being (Referring to oneself) is a complete being.It does not need any external assistance to be the way it is.To conduct our life in a society,we may need，we are interdependent.But the fundamental existence of this (Referring to oneself),the balance of what this is,the space of what this is,the possibility of what this is,is a complete process by itself.Our interdependence is only according to our external requirements but our inner existence is complete by itself.You’re divorcing your spouse, which is bad enough –do not divorce yourself from yourself.

那么現在事已至此，是時候轉向內去看，是時候去發現這個生命的完整性了，是時候去發現這個存在是一個完整的存在了。 作為這個生命本身，不需要任何外部協助。 為了在社會中生活，我們可能需要相互依存。 但是這個生命的根本存在，它的平衡、它的空間、它的可能性，本身就是一個完整的過程。 我們的相互依賴僅依外部需要而定，但我們的內在存在本身就是完整的。 你和你的伴侶分離了，這已經夠糟了，別將自己與自己分離。

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